it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
