Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
