so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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