So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize