Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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