Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
