Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We got so high we made milksteak
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
