Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
