I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
