i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
