He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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