well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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