Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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