Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
