she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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