... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i believe in u and ur pee
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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