lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
