best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
