dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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