I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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