he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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