I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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