Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize