we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
