If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
