Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
