I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize