Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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