she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
