so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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