We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
