Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
