You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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