She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
