yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize