i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
