you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
