Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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