Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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