He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
