Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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