somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
