Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
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