got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Randomize
