OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
