it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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