yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He passed out mid-signature
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
