True but thats because hes a fetus.
it hurts more in the daytime
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
