its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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