Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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