Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
