They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
