i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
