So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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