Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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