I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
