so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
