was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
