Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
