His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize