I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
