I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dear god my vagina.
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