Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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