Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
