Best friends brother. Beat that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
