I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
