david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize