If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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