I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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