Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
