we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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